I’ll be linking up with the 2025 Discussion Challenge hosted by Nicole @ Feed Your Fiction Addiction and Shannon @ It Starts at Midnight!
So, after continuing to recommend books to my mom, not to mention loaning her books to read and then she gives them back months later without reading them, I started thinking about this topic. As a librarian, and even as a former bookseller, and especially as a book blogger, recommending books is kind of my thing. I pride myself on even if I haven’t read a book myself, I’ve either read my blogger friends’ reviews, or know enough about the book to know who might like it. I also feel like I see the things my friends and family read, and so I can base my recs on those those things.
Obviously I know my mom would not like the romances I read, she’s never been a romance reader. I try to forget the fact that she read the Fifty Shades books even though that is so NOT her cup of tea, and I still can’t believe she finished the whole series. Anyway, moving on from that disturbing thought, I got to wonder if anyone else in the blogging world had noticed some people just don’t seem to want to take recommendations.
I mean, my dad has taken recs for audiobooks when he started listening to them after a life of not reading really at all. My aunt who I used to talk to about Stephen King books all the time will take recommendations from me. My other aunt’s significant other comes to me for ideas of books to read. Yet my own mother, who also used to read the Stephen King type of books I read – I mean technically they were her books I had to sneak reading in high school around the house because she said I was too young – my own mother doesn’t seem to want to take any recommendations from me these days. It kind of makes me feel a little insulted.
Does anyone else have people like that in their lives?
When I worked at the bookstore there were always those people looking for something for a friend, relative, child, etc. that just said no to everything I suggested, and I do have some students like that too. But it kind of stings to have someone who knows that is a part of my job, my personality, my interests, who won’t.
So any way, that’s what I’d like to talk about this month! I’d love to hear your thoughts on this, as well as to find out if I’m the only one that runs into that kind of opposition.
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I wouldn’t say I get resistance to recommendations, but I know that sometimes people just don’t have room to fit another book. Personally, I enjoy recommendations and sometimes I’ll buy the book, but it may be years (literally) until (if) I read it. I just have so many books that I push some off and then maybe it doesn’t sound as good as it once did. Does your mom read other books but not the ones you suggest? Maybe she feels more invested in reading something she finds for herself? I think that is part of it… readers feel more connected to a book they find themselves. *Shrugs* know I used our librarian’s recommendations all the time when my kids were young.
My mom does read other books. Maybe. Who knows why?
My daughter doesn’t really take any recommendations from me often. But when we listened to Murderbot together she loved it. She often prefers fanfiction to published books.
Yeah, I have a sister that she and I used to read all the same books and both of us took each other’s suggestions, but now neither of us really does. Of course she doesn’t read as much as I do. And I do take the books she gives me, I just haven’t had time to fit them in!
I’ve never really been surrounded by other readers to be honest. My older sister goes through reading phases and she’s on another one right now, so I’ll give her a few recs here and there. She’ll mention things she’s reading and I’ll know of them, but I also know they aren’t my kind of read either even though they are within the genres I read. She’s really getting into fantasy romance with spice! Lol. I like the fantasy romance side of it, but a little less spice than what she likes. I mean we do read some of the same books on occasion, so there’s that too! I guess it never really bothered me when I would tell people what I was reading or what I liked and they didn’t share an interest with it. I know my mom used to review contracts all day long as her job so reading for fun wasn’t something she wanted to do and she did read one of my favorite author’s books but it wasn’t her thing. Both my parents seem to like the non-fiction historical kind of reads, me I need my fiction, I need fantasy, I need magic, I need vampires/werewolves/and all things that go bump in the night! Lol. But I guess just being a quiet little blogger/book reviewer it didn’t really bother me if people didn’t want to take my recommendations. Maybe some people did based on my reviews from back in the day when people cared about reviews instead of TikTok “this was great” videos. But I could see it stinging more for librarians and maybe booksellers if people just aren’t that interested in the recs. I mean, I probably wouldn’t do well as a bookseller as I’d only want to recommend my favorite genre and if someone asked me for a contemporary romance read, I’d be like uhhh…
I don’t recommend just what I read to people though, I guess that’s why it bothers me that some people won’t take my suggestions. I’ve always read reviews from my fellow bloggers and sometimes it is a book I don’t want to read, but it sounds just like one I know my mom or someone else read. When I worked at the bookstore I would have the other employees recs or else just what I saw selling in the store to promote. As a school librarian I try to know about all the books even the ones I don’t read, so that I can recommend to all the students, I want to get all of them to read, and I know not everyone likes the same kinds of books as me, lol.
My Mom and I have COMPLETELY different reading tastes, which is weird because we both read some romance and thrillers. The key when I do recommend her books is to remember she does not want to try anything with any supernatural or paranormal aspects.
I don’t recommend the same books I read to my mom. In fact most of the books I recommend to her aren’t ones I’ve read at all, but I see them on other blogs and those bloggers often say if someone likes a book I know my mom has read and liked that they’d like the one they’re talking about. My mom doesn’t like romance, other than like I said, that little brief bit of time where she read the Fifty Shades trilogy and I’m still not sure why she finished it! lol
I don’t have the same taste in books as anyone in my family, so I never recommend books to them. Or I’ll mention a book I love and they tell me they didn’t like it, so it makes me feel bad. I just don’t recommend books anymore except on my blog🤷♀️
I don’t necessarily recommend what I’m reading, just books based on what I know they have read and said they liked. It’s kinda what I went to school for, lol. But I have to learn to accept it!
I do make recommendations as long as they can articulate what type of books they enjoy. I find it hard when they don’t.
Yeah, I try to base my recs on what I’ve seen them read or what they’ve told me they like. Doesn’t always work I guess though.
I also really like recommending books, I like figuring out which books I’ve read or know of are perfect for people I know. I’ve run into the same issue as you did with people often not seeming as interested in my recommendations, so nowadays I try to only recommend books if the person asks for it or I just talk about a book I read and if they’re interested they can always ask for the title.
I mostly recommend books to my sister and with her I think the issue is that she has so many friends and gets so many recommendations and doesn’t read nearly that many books, so she just cna’t get to all of them even if she might want to, and I am sure there are some recommendations she isn’t interested in. The person easiest to recommend books to is my boyfriend as I know his reading tastes very well and am usually quite confident in my recommendations, he doesn’t read a lot so it might be a long while before he gets to my recommendations.
My mom only reads dutch books and so I can’t really recommend books to her but even if she did read English I feel she probably wouldn’t be very interested in recommendations either as she usually isn’t too restrained when I talk about the books I read. Recently my mom’s husband got into reading and we were able to donate some books to him as we were cleaning out our books anyway and had some dutch books still on our shelves, but I never heard whether he read them or enjoyed them, maybe he hasn’t gotten to them yet.
In my experience I think recommending to both bloggers and non-bloggers comes down to the fact everyone already has more books to read than they have time for. It’s hard to get anyone so excited for a book you recommend they actually try it out.
Yeah, I have to just accept that maybe I can just do it with students. It’s crazy because when my mom and I read the same type of books, she would take anything I gave her. Now it’s like she thinks because I read other stuff that I don’t know she still likes the same stuff as before. Oh well!
Not every book is for every reader and maybe when you recommend a particular book to your mother she’s not in the mood for it in that moment. Maybe she’s a mood reader? Sounds like she just likes to pick her own reads and that’s fine, too. I wouldn’t be too offended. My daughter will sometimes recommend romantasy books and that’s just not my thing. I do note the ones she’s recommended just in case I ever feel the pull. 🙂
I only try to recommend what she reads, from blogger reviews, but I get it, she has a list of what she wants to read. And I’ll just maybe wait for her to ask me if she wants anything. I don’t recommend what I’m reading to her, because I know she won’t want to read romance, lol.
Nobody in my family reads. I’ve tried buying them books, but they don’t read them. I have recommended books to coworkers. I have no idea if they took my recommendations. I wouldn’t be offended if they didn’t because we all have huge TBRs. It might take me years to read a book that somebody recommended.
I mean, I don’t know that I’m offended exactly? Just hurts my feelings a little since my family knows that’s what I do. I was thinking the other day that my love language is when I recommend a book to someone and they read it and come back and tell me.
I tend to group book bloggers and book clubbers in the same boat – we are book addicts and recommendations flow freely. But a casual reader who only reads specific things and not regularly, those are definitely harder to recommend to!
Agreed! I always feel like my library degree and almost 20 years of experience working at a bookstore give me an added skill of recommending to even those who are casual readers. But they have to want the recs I guess.
I only make recommendations to people who ask, or who I know is a reader and would like a book. That means my one sister, a couple of friends and some ladies from church. I know that I have recommended some that they haven’t read, and they have recommended books to me that I never got to. It doesn’t bother me anymore, as I let a lot of things roll off my back these days.
I get it. If it wasn’t kind of my job, it would be easier to let go I think!
Retirement made it easier for me. When I was a teacher/librarian, I was recommending books all the time to parents, teachers and obviously students, so I get that part.
That will definitely be a nice time I think!