Blog Tour Review with Excerpt: Shelf Awareness (Green Valley Library #4) by Katie Ashley

“Don’t miss this hilarious and sweet adventure in the Green Valley Library series. Five Stars!”–Aleatha Romig, New York Times bestselling author

Shelf Awareness, an all-new hilarious romantic comedy from New York Times bestselling author Katie Ashley is available now!

Book info:

Title:  Shelf Awareness
Author:  Katie Ashley
Series:  Green Valley Library #4
Genre: Adult romantic comedy
Release Date: November 19th, 2019
Publisher:  SmartyPants Romance

Source:  Purchased copy from author at Book Bonanza
My rating: 4.5  stars

Synopsis: 

As Zeke worked on uploading the census records, I hoisted one of the many boxes from the Henderson’s donation onto the table. It kicked up an epic dust cloud. I reached inside to pluck out one of the moldering tomes of historical literature. Wrinkling my nose, I fought the urge to sneeze. Instead, I cleared my throat. When it still felt like I had swallowed a wad of sawdust, I coughed. And that was my grievous mistake.

 

The force of the cough dislodged the Ben Wa ball, sending it into an epic downward dive. Yes, ladies and gentlemen the Ben Wa ball had left the building. Whirling away from Zeke, I used my hand to try an inconspicuous crotch shuffle to send the ball back to its point of origin. What happened next was truly against the laws of motion. Because the universe apparently hated me, the ball escaped the confines of my thong. As it started its descent down my thigh, I squeaked and clamped my knees together. 
   
“Are you all right?” Zeke asked behind me.

 

I threw a glance at him over my shoulder. “Uh, yeah, I . . .” Okay, I had no idea how I was going to get out of this one. It wasn’t like I could say, “Well, here’s the thing. The Ben Wa ball I was using to strengthen my pelvic floor muscles to keep my vagina healthy for the D just slipped out and is about to make a very unhappy trail down my leg.”

 

“I think a bug bit me or something.”

 

“Oh no. Want me to take a look?”
   
“No!” When Zeke’s eyes widened at my outburst, I said, “Sorry. I’m okay.”

 

“If you’re sure.”

 

“Totally.”

 

“I think I might’ve found something interesting for your research.”

 

The only thing I was interested in at the moment was getting the Ben Wa ball out of my pants without Zeke seeing it. “Oh?”

 

“I definitely see some Native American female names.”

 

Damn him for being enthusiastic about my research. The last thing I wanted to do was walk the couple of steps back over to him while trying to keep a Ben Wa ball from rolling down my pants leg. Since I couldn’t see any other way out of it, I nodded. Gritting my teeth, I started shuffling over to him.

 

When I started lurching like Frankenstein’s monster, Zeke tilted his head curiously at me. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

 

“Yep. Totally fine,” I muttered.

 

Just as I reached his chair, my knee shifted because of what I imagined was panic sweat overtaking me. As the ball became dislodged, I bit down on my lip to keep from squealing again. There was no saving the ball now or my humiliation for that matter.

 

As soon as it plopped onto my shoe, I flung my foot, sending it ricocheting into the desk. Of course, it’s size caused it to make a tremendous ching-ching noise, which in turn caused Zeke to rip his attention away from the screen. “What was that?”
   
“What was what?” I questioned innocently.

 

He furrowed his brows at me. “You didn’t hear that noise?”

 

“Uh, no.” Plastering a smile on my face, I said, “I’m sorry. I was just so into what you were saying.”

 

Ignoring my response, Zeke quickly assessed the area around us. After I’d flung the ball away, it had come to a rest to the right of his desk chair. When he bent over to examine the ball, I inwardly began screaming noooooo while at the same time cursing Estelle for even bringing the Ben Wa ball into my orbit.

 

Since the universe hadn’t tortured me quite enough yet, Zeke picked up the ball. “Interesting,” he murmured as he twisted it between his fingers.
   
I decided it was best to play absolutely and completely clueless in this situation. “What is it?” Silently, I prayed he wouldn’t respond with, “It looks like one of those sex balls you shove up your cooch.”

 

“I don’t know. Maybe a part off one of the desks or chairs. I should probably give it to maintenance, so they can check all the furniture in here.”
   
Oh hell no. Without a second thought, I snatched the ball out of his hands. Since I did it rather abruptly, Zeke’s surprise was apparent on his face. Waving my free hand dismissively, I said, “Don’t bother yourself with that. I’ll take it to them.”

 

“Thanks, Finley.”

 

After wheezing out a breath, I replied, “You’re welcome.” I jerked my thumb over my shoulder. “I’ll go do that right now.”

 

I didn’t bother waiting for Zeke to reply. Instead, I power walked right out of the history room. I’m sure if he was watching me he would have been puzzled at my miraculous recovery, considering I’d been limping earlier.

 

At the first trash can I could find, I deposited the Ben Wa ball. It seemed abundantly clear that neither I nor my vagina were quite ready to handle the responsibility.