Author: Zac Brewer
Genre: YA contemporary, suicide
Release Date: September 19th, 2017
Source: ARC traded for on Twitter
My rating: 5 stars
New York Times bestselling author Zac Brewer delivers his most honest and gripping novel yet, about a girl who believes she’s beyond saving—until she realizes the only person who can save her is herself.
Brooke Danvers is pretending to be fine. She’s gotten so good at pretending that they’re letting her leave inpatient therapy. Now she just has to fake it long enough for her parents and teachers to let their guard down. This time, when she’s ready to end her life, there won’t be anyone around to stop her.
Then Brooke meets Derek. Derek is the only person who really gets what Brooke is going through, because he’s going through it too. As they start spending more time together, Brooke suddenly finds herself having something to look forward to every day and maybe even happiness.
But when Derek’s feelings for her intensify, Brooke is forced to accept that the same relationship that is bringing out the best in her might be bringing out the worst in Derek—and that Derek at his worst could be capable of real darkness.
What can I say except for that once again, Brewer has blown me away. This was a book that I could barely put down. I picked it up, and blew straight through it. Well, except for last Friday. I was having my own down day, just all kinds of things going wrong in my world, I’d ran out of my own medicine for my depression, and so I had to put the book down and take a break. That’s not to say that it is a depressing book, it’s just that the feelings of the main character, Brooke, and her thoughts, just were hitting too close to home at that moment in time. But once I got my meds taken on Saturday, and things started getting back to normal, I was able to pick it back up and get right back in. And Brooke’s life also started looking up at the same time. That’s not to say it was smooth sailing for her on the road to recovery, or that she was fully recovered by the end of the book, but you could see her healing and deciding that maybe she did want to live. That maybe there was something or more than one thing that was worth living for.
Having been a fan of the author for a long time, and knowing what all Brewer has gone through in his own life, it was obvious that this was going to be more realistic than many of the similar types of stories you see out there. But it was realistic in a way that still can give those of us out there with these types of feelings hope, to see that there is hope out there, and that knowing others feel the same way as you, but that you can give it time and work and get past it.
I’m so glad I found someone to trade me this book, I will be hoping that I can get to “meet” Zac Brewer and get it autographed at some point in the future. While I have met the author before, it was when he was in a different part of his life, and I’m looking forward to meeting him when he is hopefully doing better and feeling more like himself.
Another great thing about this book and the author is the information he gives at both the beginning and the end of the story about how personal this story really is. There is also a great best friend story and the romance is good, showing how it can be not so perfect, but can also hide what you think is perfect.
Definitely as I said a 5 star read and highly recommended.