Fairy Tale Survival Rule #32: If you find yourself at the mercy of a wicked witch, sing a romantic ballad and wait for your Prince Charming to save the day.
Yeah, no thanks. Dorthea is completely princed out. Sure being the crown princess of Emerald has its perks—like Glenda Original ball gowns and Hans Christian Louboutin heels. But a forced marriage to the brooding prince Kato is so not what Dorthea had in mind for her enchanted future.
Talk about unhappily ever after.
Trying to fix her prince problem by wishing on a (cursed) star royally backfires, leaving the kingdom in chaos and her parents stuck in some place called “Kansas.” Now it’s up to Dorthea and her pixed off prince to find the mysterious Wizard of Oz and undo the curse…before it releases the wickedest witch of all and spells The End for the world of Story.
BETSY SCHOW is the TODAY Show featured author of the non-fiction book, Finished Being Fat; however she’s been mixing up real life and fantasy for as long as she can remember. If someone were to ask about her rundown truck, she’s 100% positive that mechanical gremlins muck up her engine. And the only reason her house is dirty is because the dust bunnies have gone on strike. She lives in Utah with her own knight in geeky armor and their two princesses (that can totally shapeshift into little beasts). When not writing, she acts as the Tournament Director for Odyssey of the Mind and helps teach kids creative thinking (or how to turn their toasters into robots).
Most of the crowd had dispersed. The
final few stragglers looked at me with the alltoo-common look of fear mixed
with trepidation. Pix ’em. They were just servants. It wasn’t like their
opinion mattered.
final few stragglers looked at me with the alltoo-common look of fear mixed
with trepidation. Pix ’em. They were just servants. It wasn’t like their
opinion mattered.
Only one remained, watching me with
open curiosity. He looked to be in his late teens or was magically enhanced to
appear so. He could have been a hundred for all I knew. I’d never seen him
before in my life. He was handsome enough, for a commoner, even in his worn
leather pants and cracked work boots. A foreigner, his hair was unruly and dark
auburn, which complemented his tanned but dirt-smudged complexion, though the
tall, dark stranger vibe was ruined by his piercing pale blue eyes.
open curiosity. He looked to be in his late teens or was magically enhanced to
appear so. He could have been a hundred for all I knew. I’d never seen him
before in my life. He was handsome enough, for a commoner, even in his worn
leather pants and cracked work boots. A foreigner, his hair was unruly and dark
auburn, which complemented his tanned but dirt-smudged complexion, though the
tall, dark stranger vibe was ruined by his piercing pale blue eyes.
Well, I’d had enough of being a
sideshow for the day. “If you’re the new gardener, the hedges are overgrown and
in need of a trim.” I pointed in the direction of my father. “While you’re
there, you can help the king with the wisps.”
sideshow for the day. “If you’re the new gardener, the hedges are overgrown and
in need of a trim.” I pointed in the direction of my father. “While you’re
there, you can help the king with the wisps.”
The young man’s expression clouded
over, but he didn’t move.
over, but he didn’t move.
I stamped my foot and pointed more
forcefully. “Off with you. Courtyard’s that way. Be sure to clean those awful
boots before coming back in.”
forcefully. “Off with you. Courtyard’s that way. Be sure to clean those awful
boots before coming back in.”
“Someone told me I’d find a princess
of great worth here. One with the strength to be the hero this realm needs.” He
stared at me with those unsettling blue eyes. They were cold, like ice
water—made me shiver from head to toe. Then his gaze seemed to search even
deeper. Finally, he looked through me, like I was nothing.
of great worth here. One with the strength to be the hero this realm needs.” He
stared at me with those unsettling blue eyes. They were cold, like ice
water—made me shiver from head to toe. Then his gaze seemed to search even
deeper. Finally, he looked through me, like I was nothing.
In brisk steps, he strode across the
marble to the courtyard. But before crossing the threshold, he turned back to
glare at me with his lip curled ever so slightly. “It seems she was mistaken.”
marble to the courtyard. But before crossing the threshold, he turned back to
glare at me with his lip curled ever so slightly. “It seems she was mistaken.”
Just like that, I had been sifted,
weighed, and found wanting.
weighed, and found wanting.
I felt my own lip curl in response. How
rude! Who the Grimm was this peasant to judge me? I was wearing a Glenda
original. Original! Not some fairy-godmother knockoff worn by those servant
girls turned royal. I was a crown princess, for the love of fairy, and no
one dismissed me.
rude! Who the Grimm was this peasant to judge me? I was wearing a Glenda
original. Original! Not some fairy-godmother knockoff worn by those servant
girls turned royal. I was a crown princess, for the love of fairy, and no
one dismissed me.
Before I could put the boy in his
place—down in the dirt, where he belonged—a clatter came from behind, making me
nearly jump out of my shoes. I checked and was relieved that Sterling had
simply dropped his sword. By the time I looked back, the gardener was gone.
place—down in the dirt, where he belonged—a clatter came from behind, making me
nearly jump out of my shoes. I checked and was relieved that Sterling had
simply dropped his sword. By the time I looked back, the gardener was gone.
After stowing his blade, Sterling held
up his shield, not in defense of the entrance but so he could look at his
reflection. “Clearly he’s blind and doesn’t know what he’s talking about.”
up his shield, not in defense of the entrance but so he could look at his
reflection. “Clearly he’s blind and doesn’t know what he’s talking about.”
I didn’t ask for Sterling’s opinion,
but it made me feel better.
but it made me feel better.
Until he opened his mouth again.
“Worth, pffft. I mean, look
around at all the jewels. Your palace has everything you could ever want.
Honestly, I don’t know what you’re fussing about. Why would anyone want to
leave?”
around at all the jewels. Your palace has everything you could ever want.
Honestly, I don’t know what you’re fussing about. Why would anyone want to
leave?”
Because a cage is still
a cage, no matter how big or glittering the bars are.
a cage, no matter how big or glittering the bars are.
And I would find a way free, no matter the cost.
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BETSY SCHOW is the TODAY Show featured author of the non-fiction book, Finished Being Fat; however she’s been mixing up real life and fantasy for as long as she can remember. If someone were to ask about her rundown truck, she’s 100% positive that mechanical gremlins muck up her engine. And the only reason her house is dirty is because the dust bunnies have gone on strike. She lives in Utah with her own knight in geeky armor and their two princesses (that can totally shapeshift into little beasts). When not writing, she acts as the Tournament Director for Odyssey of the Mind and helps teach kids creative thinking (or how to turn their toasters into robots).
Her debut novel, Spelled, comes out June 2015 from Sourcebooks. She is represented by Michelle Witte, Mansion Street Literary Agency.
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Hi, Lisa – I've seen this book around a lot. I'm very curious about it.
@dino0726 from
FictionZeal – Impartial, Straighforward Fiction Book Reviews
It was very unique from when I read it.
Hey, thanks for the excerpt, Lisa. I have this book on my TBR. An Oz retelling just totally appeals to me. There is so much promise in what can be done with something like that. I hope that the author really does it up.
Have you read the Dorothy Must Die series? Also a good retelling. Thanks for stopping by!